-Thanks to xkcd.com for the comic.Between flying home from Indiana and around the country for crew, I now deem myself "worthy" enough to walk down that esteemed "expert traveler" line in the security checkpoints in the airports.
You know where that gets me? No where. All it gets me is bad karma. See, other people watch me get my ticket checked and I walk down the illustrious "Black-Diamond" route towards the security checkpoint. Now I am getting death stares by the 40 or so people waiting for 30 minutes in line at LaGuardia. So while I am being silently hated, I slink to the front of the pack, and as luck would have it, the security guard waves me up in the middle of an obvious first-time-flying family. So now I'm messing up family ties, potential fellow passengers hate me, and I'm thrust into an uncomfortable situation in security because my laptop is surrounded on both sides by a Spiderman backpack and a bag of diapers. Why do I go through this now instead of joining the plebes in the Green-Circle rare-fliers line?? Because I need my McGriddle from McDonald's 15 minutes sooner. Totally worth it.
I am also positive that the water bottles they sell in the airport is more watery than any other water on the planet. It's designed to make you have to go to the bathroom immediately when you are taking off, no matter when you drink it. It's a potent magical mixture of unfortunate coincidences.
Last thing- the comic above is hilarious. Why? because that is what I want to do everytime. The new "pick your seat" option is garbage. What it does is take the blame off the airline and puts it upon yourself for having a crappy flight. At least when you were randomly assigned a seat, if you had a crappy flight, well "Totally the airlines dumb seating system." Not anymore. Now the only person you have to blame for sitting next to the overweight guy who hasn't showered in 5 days is yourself. They should make you submit a photo and short bio every time you pick your seat, so I can choose who I want to sit next to. Or at least throw in an extra bag of peanuts, right?
-Garrett
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