Lately, I've noticed myself not paying attention at all when people speak, often daydreaming about things people should just not think about. Anyway, because of this, my thoughts may seem a little scattered. Pretending that didn't scare you away yet, I'll just begin.
-The same words can mean totally different things to older people as they do to college kids. For instance, I caddy at a local golf course, and one day a golfer said to another one, “how’s your beach game?” Now, at first glance, I thought he was asking like how his luck was going with the ladies at the beach these days. But then I thought about how the guy was in a sand trap and was just asking how his skill has been out of the bunker lately. Hey, it’s not my fault all we think about it picking up chicks, that’s just the way a college boy’s life is.
-How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice…If you ever wanted to hook up with that dorky sense of humor chick that is kinda hot, I just did all the work for you.
-Random fact: random facts are good ice breakers…but don’t make them too random, then you look like a creeper. For example, I'm not quite so sure you're going to have much success when the first thing you say to a girl is, "Snapple Fact 36: a duck's quack doesn't echo."
-One of the only good things to have little nieces or nephews, or in other people’s cases brothers and sisters is because it gives you an excuse when you know something about a “little kid” TV show or movie. For instance, someone once caught me signing the theme song to Arthur. “Why do you know every word Arthur’s theme song?” “Oh, uh, I had to watch it while I was babysitting, damn mini marathons.” Good save Rye.
-Quote of the Week: I'll take this one from my friend Donny Goll, who will probably be a frequent visitor for me for QotW. He is usually full of hilarious quotes which are even funnier because of his Long Island/Brooklyn sounding accent. Another friend was talking about this decent looking girl having a lazy eye, and he was unsure what to do with her, Donny was like, “Hey, it’s just a lazy eye, it’s not gonna kill ya. A lopsided tit, now that’ll kill ya.”
-And finally, I’ve always heard those people say how they can’t text/type and talk at the same time because they start to text/type what they say and vice versa, and I just didn’t get it. I never thought I was one of these people until the other day... The other day, I was making plans online, and wrote “Let’s do it.” Simultaneously, I was asking my brother if my parents were asleep yet because I needed to ask them a question, I accidentally said, “Did mom and dad do it yet?” Enough said. No need to mock or ridicule me, that sounded enough like a plan to everyone else in the room already.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
All-nighters, Restaurants, and Cards
With finals approaching and papers due in everything,its not surprising to find out that a few of your friends have pulled the dreaded all-nighter recently, because they thought playing video games and watching SportsCenter till 330am the night before that 10-pager was due would help them clear their minds... I had to endure an all-nighter recently, and there are some things I've noticed about it... the ethics of the all-nighter
1- Once you've figured out you're going to have to stay up till the sun comes out again, you start telling everyone around you.
2- Time legitimately speeds up. First you're screwing around with everyone, kinda getting work done, then next thing you know its 4am, you're at your desk surrounded by 5 Rockstar Energy Drink cans (2 shotgunned), for some reason Bon Jovi is blasting in your headphones, and you've only written another page because you "accidentally" opened up addictinggames.com.
3- Your dorm halls suddenly become a lot creepier. It's like a deserted ghosttown... doors are shut, all musics off, and there's inevitably one flickering flourescent light showing the way. And if you use the hand-dryer in the bathroom, foget about it, you feel like brought in a personal tornado of noise.
4- You sign into Facebook repeatedly and get a little dissapointed every time you don't have a new notification, refusing to accept the fact that its 530 am now and absolutely nobody is online.
5- The next day you again feel like you need to tell everyone you know that you pulled an all-nighter last night like you need some sort of approval or sympathy. It could be completely irrelevant to the situation or conversation, but in your head you're thinking "This guy NEEDS to know."
A bunch of guys from the dorm and I decided last Sunday to make a trip to Bob Evans Restaurant(BE). I myself was a BE virgin up until this point, and frankly I don't think I was mentally or physically prepared for the homestyle feast that had awaited me. I didn't know that Chicken-Fried Chicken could exist up until this point. Anyways, to continue...
- Is it just me, or after everyone decides what they want to order, they put the menu down. Then when the waiter gets to you to order, its the clumsiest scramble to open the menu and find what you want to order, meanwhile going "I'll have uhhh uhhhh ummm OH" and you point it out successfully to everyone and shout the name and description of "Chicken Parm."
- Pet peeve- When everyone's deciding what to eat, and you put down your menu and say "I guess I'll have the Turkey Club" and someone inevitably flips out and goes "What wait where? No way show me where that is on the menu I'm pretty sure thats not on my menu I think our menus are different Did we get the same menu Lemme see your menu."
-Why is it so awkward if you ever make eye-contact with anyone at another table besides yours.
- The dessert menu looks like it was assembled by the greatest court of chefs to grace the Earth previous to the start of your meal. But after stuffing yourself with breadsticks and pasta for an hour, the desserts look less appetizing then another hot dog to Kobayashi after the Nathan's contest.
Finally, its Christmas season. Hooray. If you haven't noticed the Christmas music in every store, on the radio, the random people in Santa suits walking around, tons of lights, too many sales, and people-trampling store-frenzies(ala Walmart), families' Christmas cards start arriving to your home. I swear these cards have way more thought put into them than anything...
- I bet most people rip through the stack that comes every day and this is what happens. If its a regular card, you go "That's nice." and put it down in the "No Effort" pile. But if it's a photo card, a whole new process of investigation ensues.
- You see what type of card it is. Just the kids, maybe a pet or two, but mainly, the locale at which it was taken. Everyone hates that family that sends out the Christmas card "Hi from Hawaii!" and they're all sipping drinks on the beach and its 80 degrees out, meanwhile its below freezing and blizzarding outside. Thanks for the reminder that I don't live in the south.
- Ever get a card where the family tried to pull some joke or theme, and you can't figure out what the hell is going on? All you know is that some one kid's wrapped up in christmas lights and the dog's hanging from the ceiling and there's a pile of fruit on the ground.... yeah...
So I just got an e-mail from my mom an hour ago. Title is, "This years Christmas Card!!!" I open it up and what is it?
A picture of my family in California. It was 80 degrees out. Slap.
2- Time legitimately speeds up. First you're screwing around with everyone, kinda getting work done, then next thing you know its 4am, you're at your desk surrounded by 5 Rockstar Energy Drink cans (2 shotgunned), for some reason Bon Jovi is blasting in your headphones, and you've only written another page because you "accidentally" opened up addictinggames.com.
3- Your dorm halls suddenly become a lot creepier. It's like a deserted ghosttown... doors are shut, all musics off, and there's inevitably one flickering flourescent light showing the way. And if you use the hand-dryer in the bathroom, foget about it, you feel like brought in a personal tornado of noise.
4- You sign into Facebook repeatedly and get a little dissapointed every time you don't have a new notification, refusing to accept the fact that its 530 am now and absolutely nobody is online.
5- The next day you again feel like you need to tell everyone you know that you pulled an all-nighter last night like you need some sort of approval or sympathy. It could be completely irrelevant to the situation or conversation, but in your head you're thinking "This guy NEEDS to know."
A bunch of guys from the dorm and I decided last Sunday to make a trip to Bob Evans Restaurant(BE). I myself was a BE virgin up until this point, and frankly I don't think I was mentally or physically prepared for the homestyle feast that had awaited me. I didn't know that Chicken-Fried Chicken could exist up until this point. Anyways, to continue...
- Is it just me, or after everyone decides what they want to order, they put the menu down. Then when the waiter gets to you to order, its the clumsiest scramble to open the menu and find what you want to order, meanwhile going "I'll have uhhh uhhhh ummm OH" and you point it out successfully to everyone and shout the name and description of "Chicken Parm."
- Pet peeve- When everyone's deciding what to eat, and you put down your menu and say "I guess I'll have the Turkey Club" and someone inevitably flips out and goes "What wait where? No way show me where that is on the menu I'm pretty sure thats not on my menu I think our menus are different Did we get the same menu Lemme see your menu."
-Why is it so awkward if you ever make eye-contact with anyone at another table besides yours.
- The dessert menu looks like it was assembled by the greatest court of chefs to grace the Earth previous to the start of your meal. But after stuffing yourself with breadsticks and pasta for an hour, the desserts look less appetizing then another hot dog to Kobayashi after the Nathan's contest.
Finally, its Christmas season. Hooray. If you haven't noticed the Christmas music in every store, on the radio, the random people in Santa suits walking around, tons of lights, too many sales, and people-trampling store-frenzies(ala Walmart), families' Christmas cards start arriving to your home. I swear these cards have way more thought put into them than anything...
- I bet most people rip through the stack that comes every day and this is what happens. If its a regular card, you go "That's nice." and put it down in the "No Effort" pile. But if it's a photo card, a whole new process of investigation ensues.
- You see what type of card it is. Just the kids, maybe a pet or two, but mainly, the locale at which it was taken. Everyone hates that family that sends out the Christmas card "Hi from Hawaii!" and they're all sipping drinks on the beach and its 80 degrees out, meanwhile its below freezing and blizzarding outside. Thanks for the reminder that I don't live in the south.
- Ever get a card where the family tried to pull some joke or theme, and you can't figure out what the hell is going on? All you know is that some one kid's wrapped up in christmas lights and the dog's hanging from the ceiling and there's a pile of fruit on the ground.... yeah...
So I just got an e-mail from my mom an hour ago. Title is, "This years Christmas Card!!!" I open it up and what is it?
A picture of my family in California. It was 80 degrees out. Slap.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Food For Thought 2: Sungoations
So since it's finals week, I have been a little preoccupied procrastination in other ways. So besides focusing on a common theme for a few stories I've encountered, here is another version of some things I've noticed recently.
-Before I start, I would like to mention part of my inspiration for this blog, and his name is Aaron Karo, creator of Ruminations.com and author to a few books of the same topic. The thing is, I've started to use this word so much, that I would text it to people for references, but for some reason, even though I added the word to my T9, the word sungoations still comes up everytime I try to write ruminations, so watch me as I sungoate.
-T9 can be frustrating at times, like I know it’s a pretty smart tool, but sometimes it’s a little obvious I just want to pluralize a word, and not just change the entire word by hitting 7. For instance, I said how ruminations is now sungoations…sometimes I’ll just let the person I’m texting figure out what I’m saying, and if they can, it’s usually a sign of a pretty good friend.
-General rule of thumb: If you are telling a story and at the end, you didn't quite get the reception you think your story deserved, and you constantly find yourself saying "you had to be there," there's one of two things wrong. You either suck at telling stories or your life is just not that interesting.
-Has anyone else noticed how the Pringle design is backwards? Garrett and I have discussed many a time how the side of the Pringle that perfectly contours to your tongue has absolutely no flavor. All the taste is on the opposite side and it pisses the shit out of me; it actually allows me to stop once I pop.
-I've talked to more than one person about this, and do you ever notice that for some reason if you have a big bag of Lays Original potato chips, they taste so much better than the "fun" individual size. No clue why that is.
-Speaking of fun size, you know what's more fun than fun size candy like M&M's and Skittles? King Size. There's a serious problem with the names of candy bag sizes...the biggest size should be fun, because if I'm eating that much candy, hell I'm having a blast.
-Calling a guy that gets with a lot of girls a pimp kind of makes no sense. A pimp is just a networker, we don’t know what or whom he’s doing.
-Quote of the week comes from my friend Fran who was talking about how some kid she didn't like was a dick. My friend Pops was in the room, and he was like, "yeah, but I'm a dick to you, too." That's when Fran uttered back to Pops, "yeah, but you're a dick that I can take." And yes, we have been giving her shit for it for days.
-This next one is from my friend Jill: you know when you see old people go to the beach just to sit there with like hats gloves and 73 blankets like they look like they are on the verge of freezing to death. What's up with that?
-And finally, I'll end with a story from the other night. So after a long night of bar hopping, a group of me and my friends almost fight this one kid at the bar because he was all over this girl that was our friend. So a bunch of us are in fighting moods when we get to the subway, and there this seemingly homeless guy talking about Obama. He was saying things like, "I crossed the train tracks from that side to this side for Obama, BITCH!" He was clearly just looking for a fight and of course one of the kids we were with was a huge McCain supporter, so shit got very heated with endless threats. We eventually get to our stop, and we walk out the turnstiles. At this point, the guy couldn't come close because he couldn't afford the 2 dollars to get off then get back on. Out of desperation, he decides to throw his hat on the ground towards us. I turn around to walk away when all of a sudden I feel something hit my calf. He threw his ladies speed stick deodorant at me...like wtf? I'd say it almost got me mad enough to want to fight him, but you had to be there.
-Before I start, I would like to mention part of my inspiration for this blog, and his name is Aaron Karo, creator of Ruminations.com and author to a few books of the same topic. The thing is, I've started to use this word so much, that I would text it to people for references, but for some reason, even though I added the word to my T9, the word sungoations still comes up everytime I try to write ruminations, so watch me as I sungoate.
-T9 can be frustrating at times, like I know it’s a pretty smart tool, but sometimes it’s a little obvious I just want to pluralize a word, and not just change the entire word by hitting 7. For instance, I said how ruminations is now sungoations…sometimes I’ll just let the person I’m texting figure out what I’m saying, and if they can, it’s usually a sign of a pretty good friend.
-General rule of thumb: If you are telling a story and at the end, you didn't quite get the reception you think your story deserved, and you constantly find yourself saying "you had to be there," there's one of two things wrong. You either suck at telling stories or your life is just not that interesting.
-Has anyone else noticed how the Pringle design is backwards? Garrett and I have discussed many a time how the side of the Pringle that perfectly contours to your tongue has absolutely no flavor. All the taste is on the opposite side and it pisses the shit out of me; it actually allows me to stop once I pop.
-I've talked to more than one person about this, and do you ever notice that for some reason if you have a big bag of Lays Original potato chips, they taste so much better than the "fun" individual size. No clue why that is.
-Speaking of fun size, you know what's more fun than fun size candy like M&M's and Skittles? King Size. There's a serious problem with the names of candy bag sizes...the biggest size should be fun, because if I'm eating that much candy, hell I'm having a blast.
-Calling a guy that gets with a lot of girls a pimp kind of makes no sense. A pimp is just a networker, we don’t know what or whom he’s doing.
-Quote of the week comes from my friend Fran who was talking about how some kid she didn't like was a dick. My friend Pops was in the room, and he was like, "yeah, but I'm a dick to you, too." That's when Fran uttered back to Pops, "yeah, but you're a dick that I can take." And yes, we have been giving her shit for it for days.
-This next one is from my friend Jill: you know when you see old people go to the beach just to sit there with like hats gloves and 73 blankets like they look like they are on the verge of freezing to death. What's up with that?
-And finally, I'll end with a story from the other night. So after a long night of bar hopping, a group of me and my friends almost fight this one kid at the bar because he was all over this girl that was our friend. So a bunch of us are in fighting moods when we get to the subway, and there this seemingly homeless guy talking about Obama. He was saying things like, "I crossed the train tracks from that side to this side for Obama, BITCH!" He was clearly just looking for a fight and of course one of the kids we were with was a huge McCain supporter, so shit got very heated with endless threats. We eventually get to our stop, and we walk out the turnstiles. At this point, the guy couldn't come close because he couldn't afford the 2 dollars to get off then get back on. Out of desperation, he decides to throw his hat on the ground towards us. I turn around to walk away when all of a sudden I feel something hit my calf. He threw his ladies speed stick deodorant at me...like wtf? I'd say it almost got me mad enough to want to fight him, but you had to be there.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Campbell Soup for the College Soul
Hey everyone, I'm Garrett, and I'll be joining the blog as a co-author/poster. I'm another partner-in-crime to Ryan, and together we both usually come up with useless/extremely amazing ideas. We knew it would work when he asked me if I wanted to join and I just responded without thought "Slap." So I'll be contributing as well and we'll probably end up bouncing stories off of each other since that's what we normally do. To do a small intro, I'm at the University of Notre Dame, I'm studying to be an engineer as well, and I'm on the crew team.
Right now I'm in a 401 person engineering lecture, and i believe 380+ laptops are open. 99% of them are on Addicting Games. Ironic that these kids are going to be the next engineers programming/designing the space shuttle and inventing the future car.
Also, a recent pet peeve of mine: wind. Seriously. For those of you that don't know, Notre Dame is in the middle of nowhere. South Bend, Indiana. This little gem of a town is composed solely of restaurants and giant stores(Wal-Mart, etc) mean to cater to the college student and football-weekend-alumni. It's flat. Coming from New York, the temperature was usually true, since it really hilly, and although Long Island is.. an island, if the weatherman says 32 degrees, its usually 32 degrees, since there is no wind. Here it's a different story. Recent post from weather.com. "Temperature: 20 degrees. Feels like: 2 degrees" Stupid wind. Some farmer could sneeze on his farm 150 miles west of me and by the time it gets to me it's a tornado of frozen icicles.
Anyways, I'm glad I joined, stay tuned for more.
Right now I'm in a 401 person engineering lecture, and i believe 380+ laptops are open. 99% of them are on Addicting Games. Ironic that these kids are going to be the next engineers programming/designing the space shuttle and inventing the future car.
Also, a recent pet peeve of mine: wind. Seriously. For those of you that don't know, Notre Dame is in the middle of nowhere. South Bend, Indiana. This little gem of a town is composed solely of restaurants and giant stores(Wal-Mart, etc) mean to cater to the college student and football-weekend-alumni. It's flat. Coming from New York, the temperature was usually true, since it really hilly, and although Long Island is.. an island, if the weatherman says 32 degrees, its usually 32 degrees, since there is no wind. Here it's a different story. Recent post from weather.com. "Temperature: 20 degrees. Feels like: 2 degrees" Stupid wind. Some farmer could sneeze on his farm 150 miles west of me and by the time it gets to me it's a tornado of frozen icicles.
Anyways, I'm glad I joined, stay tuned for more.
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