Flying and Stuff

-Thanks to xkcd.com for the comic.

Between flying home from Indiana and around the country for crew, I now deem myself "worthy" enough to walk down that esteemed "expert traveler" line in the security checkpoints in the airports.

You know where that gets me? No where. All it gets me is bad karma. See, other people watch me get my ticket checked and I walk down the illustrious "Black-Diamond" route towards the security checkpoint. Now I am getting death stares by the 40 or so people waiting for 30 minutes in line at LaGuardia. So while I am being silently hated, I slink to the front of the pack, and as luck would have it, the security guard waves me up in the middle of an obvious first-time-flying family. So now I'm messing up family ties, potential fellow passengers hate me, and I'm thrust into an uncomfortable situation in security because my laptop is surrounded on both sides by a Spiderman backpack and a bag of diapers. Why do I go through this now instead of joining the plebes in the Green-Circle rare-fliers line?? Because I need my McGriddle from McDonald's 15 minutes sooner. Totally worth it.

I am also positive that the water bottles they sell in the airport is more watery than any other water on the planet. It's designed to make you have to go to the bathroom immediately when you are taking off, no matter when you drink it. It's a potent magical mixture of unfortunate coincidences.

Last thing- the comic above is hilarious. Why? because that is what I want to do everytime. The new "pick your seat" option is garbage. What it does is take the blame off the airline and puts it upon yourself for having a crappy flight. At least when you were randomly assigned a seat, if you had a crappy flight, well "Totally the airlines dumb seating system." Not anymore. Now the only person you have to blame for sitting next to the overweight guy who hasn't showered in 5 days is yourself. They should make you submit a photo and short bio every time you pick your seat, so I can choose who I want to sit next to. Or at least throw in an extra bag of peanuts, right?

-Garrett

The Internet

Math Puns

you don't even have to be a nerd to appreciate this one, all you had to do was maybe pass high school trig...

Bowser is King

The pokemon fan in me is saddened by this, especially considering my team in pokemon yellow to defeat the elite four included all of them... you can't help but observe the 'truthiness' (thanks Colbert) to this image

Gorilla Debate plus Ducreux Memes

this is more for my benefit, but you may enjoy as well

as for the gorilla debate (note if you haven't read the original post by my colleague, you can check it out here, I don't have as elaborately thought out ideas as Garrett, but I do think there's one thing he forgot. It's as if watching The Office religiously for 4 years has taught him nothing...

Dwight said it perfectly, the eyes are like the groin of the face. It's undoubtedly a weakness. Now I understand you mentioned no utensils, but I'm confident with however many people, at least one could make it up onto the gorilla's back. Once on the back, claw the right and left eye with the right and left hands. Most likely this person will be sacrificed, but it will be for victory. As long as they hold on for dear life, 150+ lb of pressure on the eye sockets will bring down the gorilla in due time.

Now, you mentioned they'd get thrown off in a second, but nay I say. If you have two "able bodied" people holding on for dear life on each of the gorilla's arms, the 300-400 + lbs on those arms easily slow him down enough to let the other guy destroy the eyes. Henceforth, the gorilla has no chance, the armor will be broken down enough for 10 or so people at a time to "lay down a monster."

Humans win.

Not Blasphemy and Water Powered Jet Pack

As if that wasn't enough...

Water Powered Jet Pack from toxel.com on Vimeo.

Why Turkey is Hungary

Turkish Ice Cream Man

rebuttal to gorilla argument to come within the next couple days, a.k.a. midterms are over soon

Debate of the Month- Gorilla vs. Humans

Okay. One day at the lunch table I brought this question up, and it has legitimately been in VERY heated debate for the past 2 months.

We were sitting at the table in South Dining Hall, in which the dining area is a huge cavernous room (Harry-Potter-esque) with 40 foot ceilings, woodwork, and its lets say a little bit smaller than a football field. Question was posed:

If all of the tables and utensils were gone, and a Male Silverback fully grown GORILLA was all of a sudden to appear in the middle of the hall, who would win. 500 students with bare-hands, or the gorilla?

Now, without much thought, most people go "oh, the students", and that's probably what you're thinking.......But in my opinion, you're dead wrong.

A fully grown gorilla is HUGE. And pretty damn strong too. Nearly 6 feet tall, with a wingspan of 7+ feet, and weighing easily over 400 lbs. Gorilla wins.

Let's try some scenarios.

1-person at a time. Gorilla punches you. You go down faster than the Gorilla can eat a banana. Gorilla wins.

2-10 people. One person as bait(unlucky soul) and others jump on his back. First off, that bait guy maybe lasts 2, 3 seconds tops. And if you jump on his back, gorilla will pull you off in a second and toss you. Gorilla wins.

11-100+ people. Even if everyone rushes this gorilla at once, there is no way there is enough space for an organized "hit", aka the gorilla can just flail. You might knock him down and pile on top, but the thing can definitely bench like 800+ pounds, and its arms are bigger than my torso. People just flying everywhere. Gorilla wins.

And if any of the attackers are females, gorilla wins (sorry, weak wrists(reference)).

As you see, I'm fully convinced that the gorilla wins in any situation. But I'd put the number at 1000 able-bodied men with a death wish, maybe like 1 guy survives. But think about it. There is NO WAY we are hurting this thing. It pounding it's chest is harder than Tyson can punch. The thing can break trees in half. Gorilla just running train all over the place.

Now, again,keep in mind an integral part of the argument is that there are no weapons. And also, the group decided that if it was 2 gorillas covering each others back, humans lose every time. Regardless of numbers.

Tell me what you think.

-Garrett

Doghouse Diaries

If you have never seen this site, I highly recommend it... funny comic I stumbleupon all the time:

here's one that's especially awesome

Kids Draw the Darnest Things

When I grow up...

OK Go Strikes Again

This Too Shall Pass



nymag writes a little about it

You Shall Not Pass

y=-1/(x-gandalf) For math nerds like me, you will definitely appreciate

Lord of the Rings Math

And of course how could I leave you with that, without this...



Note: If video doesn't work just try clicking the article title, it should open in the new page

Old Door Prank

Old Door Prank - Click here for funny video clips

Cheerleader Gets Eaten

Raptor Devours Cheerleader

20 Best Movies of 00's Part 4

It has come to this, the top 5 movies, and while I really do enjoy all 20, there were many movies that I teetered with and could have been high up on my list, but didn't end up on it at all for a variety of reasons, but without further digression, the top 5 movies of the decade are here:

5) The Bourne Trilogy (2002-2007)

Maybe not the most complex plot (which is good for this type of movie), but to me the 2nd most exciting movie (yes it was one 6 hour movie in this sentence) of this list. After Bourne Ultimatum, it's hard to watch a Matt Damon movie and for him not to be JB, he was on a very short list of actors who could of nailed the role, but he did no doubt.

4) Avatar (2009)

2009 was a great year for movies, with Avatar as the peak of the year. Just the idea that Cameron may break his own record with Titanic for amount grossed should speak for itself. Now, I haven't re-watched this movie or seen it without the 3-D theater experience, but I'm sure the movie will still be great. The plot has been done, but that's what is going to happen when you have an idea for a movie but don't put it out until 14 years later... On a short list of best blockbuster movies of all time (note that Spiderman isn't on my list).

3) Ocean's 11 (2001)

Not 13, certainly not 12, 11. Danny Ocean should not have added any more people to his posse, 11 was the perfect number for a near perfect movie. A casino heist at its greatest with a great cast, if you haven't seen this movie, then you should and you'll enjoy; I haven't met a single person who didn't like it.


2) Lord of the Rings (2001-2003)

This isn't even a trilogy -- thousands of some of the most creative literature of all time in J.R.R. Tolkien made into a 10 hour long movie, nay experience. Anyone who tells you they didn't like watching it simply just has a short attention span. Peter Jackson did an amazing job, and even though I haven't read the entire series, I think he near perfected the films.

1) The Dark Knight (2008)

Some may be surprised to see this as the number one movie of the decade, but case and point, DK has it all. Action, suspense, acting, plot, re-watching value, and one of the best villains to ever appear on film. Its all around character is really what intrigued me so much even from the very beginning (even the trailers were really good).

Honorable Mentions
Here is a list of must see movies of the decade that for one reason or another (it's like another movie or I simply just forgot about it until now) didn't make my list.

Finding Forrester (2000)
Monsters, Inc. (2001)
There will be Blood (2007)
No Country for Old Men (2007)
Gangs of New York (2002)
Catch me if you Can (2002)
City of God (2002)
A Beautiful Mind (2001)
Batman Begins (2005)
Super Troopers (2001)

any feedback would be welcomed, and if you have any other list ideas let me know...

20 Best Movies of 00's Part 3

So many different types of movies to choose from, it's hard to compare certain movies. Some need to be on a list, but you may see some honorable mentions that you think are more worthy of being on the list, but keep in mind it's my attempt at being objective... 10-6

10) Finding Nemo (2003)

It was a hard decision for which Disney Pixar great of the decade gets the honor of being on the list, but for me Finding Nemo gets the slight edge over Monsters, Inc... Why, I have no other reason other than I get more excited to watch Nemo, so that must mean something... The casting on the voices is really perfect as well.


9) Shaun of the Dead (2004)

Genius. That's all there is to say of this movie, the idea (finally a different kind of zombie movie), dialogue, British humor that's funny to everyone for once (other than Trigger Happy). If you haven't seen it yet, then stop reading and go watch it.

8) Star Trek (2009)

I went to see this movie basically because of the trailer alone. Never a star trek fan, but the hype all those years had to be for a reason right? I really enjoyed the plot, and the movie got a huge energy burst around halfway through by a certain awesome actor that's in the previously mentioned movie (I don't want to ruin it, but I feel like I just did).

7) Memento (2000)

Memento nailed the concept of a backwards movie. I guess the only problem with it as with any other film in its genre is re-watching value. If enough time passes between views it's still great, but there's not much I can say for this movie except how come Guy Pearce hasn't been in any other really popular movies. Watch it if you haven't, it's not too long either, so bonus!


6) The Departed (2006)

Martin Scorsese formed a masterpiece here with a star-studded cast who all gave really solid performances. Who hasn't seen this movie, finally a gangster movie for non-Italians. As a common nitpicker of plot flaws, I really enjoyed this plot and idea.

20 Best Movies of 00's Part 2

As you'll soon see, I'm not completely biased towards the beginning and end of the decade, and I also treat certain series as one big movie, while others are not... 15-11 coming up:

15) Kill Bill vol. 1 & 2 (2003-2004)

What I liked about Kill Bill? This movie knew exactly what it was with the over the top (at times) fight scenes, a simple plot that I almost always enjoy (see my hatred for Children of Men), and a terrific lead actress in Uma Thurman. Both volumes because everyone tries to compare, but really it's one long movie, just Tarantino didn't have the balls back then to make a 4 hour movie.

14) Best in Show (2000)

Well, 14th best at least... Best in Show is one of those movies where you can watch over and over again and pick up on new jokes each time, it's a different kind of comedy, and the taste is right up my alley, it takes a lot for a comedy (for me) to have its place among other films in a list like this, highly recommended.

13) Donnie Darko (2001)

What did Donnie Darko do that most couldn't in this drama? It dealt with complex science fiction without confusing the watcher... well you may have to watch it twice to get everything, but totally worth it. I actually like Jake Gylenhall here, which is strange, and Maggie isn't all that annoying. Bonus: deep dialogue about smurfs.

12) The Hangover (2009)

Why The Hangover and not any of the 10 or so Judd Apatow movies this decade? Because all those movies are the same, Forgetting Sarah Marshall would have had a good chance if not for Pineapple Express, Step Brothers, Funny People, Superbad, etc. Yes these movies are mostly very funny (note mostly, not all), but they're all too similar. The real test though? Lasting value, I've seen The Hangover about 5 times, and it's still awesome.

11) El Laberinto del Fauno (2006)

...Pan's Labrynthe, sorry to confuse you. Thank you senior year spanish class, without you I may not have seen this movie, it was pretty magical. You know movies are that good when you can understand maybe every other word, and you still love it.

20 Best Movies of 00's Part 1

Commonly referred to as the naughts, the first decade of this century provided perhaps the most impressive set of a movies a decade has seen ever, with directors like Cameron, Jackson, and Spielberg really coming into their own in utilizing the awesome power of technology. While you can argue that the previous ten years had individually better movies, I feel as though there were more just simply near perfect films from 2000-2009. With out any further ado, the top 20...

20) Almost Famous (2000)

If you haven't had the pleasure of seeing this movie, I would highly suggest it, Kate Hudson, Billy Crudup, Jason Lee all do a great job of capturing the essence of the 70's... you might find yourself suddenly listening to classic rock, and it's a great film too, so win-win.

19) Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Quentin Tarantino capitalized on a feat Treyarch could not... They made killing nazis fun. Brad Pitt doesn't fail, and Christoph Waltz delivers the Golden Globe winning performance of a lifetime as the Jew Hunter.

18) In Bruges (2008)

(Pronounced In Brooge) Do you like Colin Farrel? Tasteful comments about midgets? European accents? Not only is this a pretty good thriller, but the acting is phenomenal.

17) Snatch (2000)

With ensemble bad boys like Jason Stathom and Benicio del Toro (even Brad Pitt's character here puts him among these gents), Guy Ritchie nails a different kind of gangster film and adds the perfect amount of humor (a little) and violence (a lot).

16) Sherlock Holmes (2009)

I may be a little haste to put this movie here, but I loved it. Rounding out the decade, Downey, Jr. takes on a really cool "modernish" Holmes and uses his wits for some pretty cool fight scenes. Some criticize his detective work and say it's just him deducing things, but I was both fascinated and pleased as I was left with no unanswered questions... (well except whether or not there will be an equally good sequel).

Random Thoughts Number Whatever

Yeah, so usually whenever I have a conversation with my good friend Chris a couple good things come up to post.

1- Reason I Love living in New York
Just read the hyperlink. You never see the Chargers or the Eagles or the Colts doing this. No matter how far fetched it is (even though it is obviously true) its still awesome this was put out there. Give that man a sandwich.... rather like five sandwiches.

2- I hate traveling for Christmas break because of the increased security at the airports. Don't get me wrong- the increased security is a good thing- but come on. I caused a security shutdown(again) when I was flying home. Why? Well, they had me stand in the little "Bomb Glass Area" while they went through my backpack in front of me. They gingerly removed my set of school keys which had my school ID, 2 room keys, and my laptop-lock key on it. They rescanned my laptop lock key 3 times, because they thought I was trying to hide a weapon inside of it. This is, I swear, is 2 inches long and is basically a little tube of metal with a nub on the end. I was interrogated about its use. Honestly, this is when I am for racially profiling, or using a SHRED of common sense here. I am wearing a Notre Dame Rowing T-shirt, wearing an ND hat, with a bag with a laptop and textbooks in it. My keys have a college ID on it. Yeah, I'm really looking to cause some harm, as opposed to a guy from Yemen who's dad called the airport to warn them that his son is crazy. Ridiculous

3- The general public is too gullible and that annoys me. Chris told me of the local weather station's Channel 4 SUPERPredictor Radar. Let me type that again. The actual weather radar, that the anchors REFER TO ON THE AIR, is the "SUPERPredictor". Are you kidding me? More people are tuning into CBS Channel 4 as opposed to other stations for their weather, because their radar, alas, is "super". Screw NBC's doppler honey, that ain't "Super".

4- Disney World is actually really really awesome. And if you don't think so, you either
a) never been b) didn't have a childhood or c) don't have a soul.(according to Chris). Pretty much truth.

5- Splash Mountain is sick.

6- I'm running a marathon in 4 days, and I am not ready. Although I kind of am ( 20 days of training.. okay not really), 26.2 miles is really far.

7- I got Planet Earth on Blu-ray for one of my birthday gifts. It is easily one of the greatest things mankind has ever produced.

8- A movie called "The Expendables" is coming out that looks absolutely amazing.
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, Dolph Lundgren, Mickey Rourke, Jet Li, Sylvester Stallone, Steve Austin, and Jason Statham are in it. Look it up. There are going to be so many bad one-liners in this movie that there might actually be something that constitutes real conversation.

9- The toilet paper at home will always be better than the toilet paper at school. I know everyone going back to school right now agrees with me whether they like it or not.

That's it for now. Till next time. Oh yeah. Happy New Year and Merry Christmas.

Garrett