Wabash Mashers

On my way home from school the other day, I found myself in traffic behind a Wabash truck, reminding me of this:

Wabash Mashers from p matthew m on Vimeo.

Enjoy!

Danger: Dihydrogen Monoxide

Check this out

I love little things like this, thanks StumbleUpon.

Bill Dance is having a bad bad day.

This might be the funniest video I have seen in a long time. Definitely worth 3 minutes of your time.

See more funny videos and Entertainment Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Thanks to Todaysbigthing.com for the vid.

-Garrett

Movies and Such, I'm Bothered: SG9

I love movies. Real bold statement there, but I really do. However, some things in movies are just so inaccurately depicted, they bother me, I'm bothered by it, you bother people.


-Well Twilight is just stupid first of all, were we like this for Harry Potter when we were younger? It's bothersome.

-Agent Cody Banks was on the other day, what a childhood throwback, such an awesomely bad movie (edit: bad movie). For some reason I accept that whole movie, the nanorobots, the ridiculous villains, but there's one scene that I couldn't accept. He uses a rinky dink pen laser to cut through sheet metal when he's at H Duff's party. That laser looks so weak, not to mention he cuts a perfect semicircle with his shaky nervous Frankie Muniz' hands.

-People who just enter a new relationship with a significant other never seem to want to get off the phone in movies and even television. Who has ever actually said, "no you hang up first."

-High school parties? Since when is every important person from each clique at a party. That's because this doesn't happen in real life, it'd be one group of friends. I'm talking to you, Can't Hardly Wait, Mean Girls, etc.

-Mythbusters movie edition has ruined my childhood. Among other things, supposedly if you shoot at a gas tank, it won't explode... WHAT?!!

-Other things I've started to notice include: People start saying what’s good now instead of the usual what’s up, so now when I say my automatic "not much" it sounds like I’m having a shitty day.

-It must suck being a kicker or a punter on a football team. You have one job, yeah it's not as hard as the other guys, but it's either you fuck up or you don't. Very rarely will you hear how great of a game that punter or even lineman had. Also insert hitting/pitching/etc. coach.

-It has ALWAYS annoyed me at how chinese fortune cookies are not fortunes anymore. They are proverbs, and not even cookies for that matter. They should be called chinese proverb wafers if anything.

-XBox Live has this feature that let's you know what the person is doing -- watching netflix, playing call of duty, whatever. Thank goodness for all of you as well I'm sure that facebook does not also have this feature.

That's it for me for now, thanks for reading.

5am Thoughts.

I'm in the midst of an all-nighter for a test in Mechanics tomorrow. Why not some live-blogging.

4:48am- 2nd coffee run. Decide on dark roast over light roast. Can't tell the difference since its scalding hot and I burned my tongue.
4:55am- Holy expletive. It's 4:55am.
5:01am- Sketchy Ginger guy on couch in student center rolls over. I throw a paper ball at him. He does not move. He also has 2 different colored socks on.
5:08am- Last person leaves 24 hour lounge (except for sketchy ginger guy)
5:10am-SGG drops his cellphone. He doesn't notice. I put it on his shoulder. He's going to be really confused.
5:15am- 2 Hours 45 Minutes till test time.
5:19am- FOUR Asians burst into room. See me. Ask if my name is Derek. I tell them its Xavier. They leave.
5:25am- Wedge friction and screws are really easy.
5:27am- If you type "Facebook" in a Facebook message to someone, Facebook says you spelled it wrong an/or it is not a word. Idiots.
5:30am- Pandora selected 4 terrible songs in a row. Ironically it plays the best songs when I'm not paying attention or leave it running, and the worst songs when I need it most.
5:31am- This live blog sucks.
5:32am- Debate continuing.
5:32am- Decide to Continue
5:34am- Call Phil to wake his ass up because he has to a write a paper. For those of you that don't know Phil, he's a BGD. Don't worry about it.
5:35am-Back to work.
5:36am- Build a Macbook Pro on Apple.com
5:37am- Actually back to work.
5:40am-SGG wakes up in a fuss and FLIPS out. Looks at his phone and runs out of the room. Wtf.
5:43am- SGG runs back in grabs his stuff without packing it, sprints out of room. I yell bye. No response. Jerk.
5:47am- I watched a light bulb burn out. Random.
5:48am- Revamp Pandora stations. Definitely not worth it.
5:53am- Decide live-blogging is not fun anymore.

Until next time.

-Garrett

Ryan PS, just because it's so related to this topic, I stumbledupon this very true pie chart:


see more Funny Graphs

Watch before you bite.

My younger cousin showed me this video over Thanksgiving. I thought it was pretty interesting how such a completely random topic and idea could be as funny as it is and be quality enough for a top-of-the-line show like SNL.
and yes.. the titles gives it all away.

Enjoy.

Bookmarks.

Thought a random post would be to share some of the bookmarks my friends and myself usually check out. Here we go.

One site I check everyday is Woot!. Basically, they post one extremely random but usually useful (to someone) item everyday, from tvs to laptops to toasters to nerf guns, at an extremely low price. It's worth your time to check out because you never know when it's exactly what you'll be looking for. Enjoy.

Maddox, or The Best Page in the Universe, is a blog by this "pirate" called Maddox that most or less contains his extremely vulgar thoughts about everything in life. A lot of his stuff is extremely vulgar, just a heads up. Surprisingly though, he has one of the largest hit-counts on the WWW, and an internet following that can actually do some damage in the real world. If you read back on some of his posts, whenever the guy boycotts something (or someone) , it causes enough of an effect for the company (or person of directed hate) to actually contact him.

Facebook... duh.
Gmail. Easily explainable.

Barstool Sports NYC is a fantastic blog by a couple of guys in NYC (along with a Boston version by respective Bostonians) that criticizes all sports, girls, media, and anything big happening in the world. It's updated quite a bit, and their responses to articles and user submissions are hilarious. Pretty vulgar but its to good effect.

Badass Of the Week is a blog about the designated BOTW. Easily explainable again.

Ruminations is a blog/post site run by Aaron Karo the comedian. Partially responsible for the original inspiration for our blog. Check out the archives.

Today's Big Thing is literally today's big thing. It's the 4 or 5 internet videos that are usually the biggest things on the internet and what every blog talks about. If you have 10 minutes to spare and want to catch up on the funniest blooper or the most controversial story or the greatest touchdown pass, this is your site.

Of course FMyLife and TextsFromLastNight...

Finally, Car and Driver , because I'm interested in that stuff, if your not, who cares.

This is a pretty good line-up for some classic procrastion, so go check them out. Just click on one of our ads first hahaha. Thanks.

Try this at Home

I have this new fear of blindfolds...and logs

Blindfolded Nut Shot

Beware of Craig's List

A friend showed me this website. Needless to say it is extremely entertaining. Basically, some guy responds to Craig's list ad's with a twist. Definitely worth your time for a good laugh. Start off with "Minesweeper" on the right and go from there...

Don't Even Reply

-Garrett

The 10 Biggest Misconceptions We Learn In School

You may find some of these fun facts rather interesting

Impossible Gymnast Jump

There seems to be a common theme to these videos so far? Maybe, but is this one real?




Moving on, after you watch that about 7 times, I love this link just because of the simple fact that I am a 90's kid...

You know you're a 90's kid when

Revised Mission Statement

Well we've noticed that with the better notification system of informing you all about updates, there's really been no reason to check the site from update to update. This is all going to change.

And it was written.

StumbleUpon is one of the internet's greatest inventions. We are constantly finding new obscure pictures, funny videos, interesting facts, and much more on a daily basis. Basically, the idea is to provide you with a reason to check the site on a somewhat daily basis to see what we think is a worthwhile site to check out. There will still be our biweekly articles, but now with a little more...

Hope you all enjoy!

For a little taste as what to expect, here's a classic video you've probably already seen, but it's totally worth another 30 seconds of your life.

Is It Just Me? SG 8

I've found myself very often in the past couple of weeks wondering "Is it just me, or..." Anyway this isn't all that's been happening to me lately, but it is rather what I have been realizing because of it... without any further ado:

-Don't get me wrong, I love zombies, everything that has to do with them, books, movies, nazi-based video games, but is it just me or in the past year has the zombie craze risen considerably? What I'm trying to say is, Zombieland was a great movie!

-Actually having to do with my life, I recently had a rather unpleasant altercation with "NY's finest" and while my story isn't important, this story I heard after telling about mine is a good example of how they can suck:
"My friend was standing on an outdoor subway platform waiting, looking for a light for his cigarette, so he asks a stranger for a light. The guy gives him it, lights his cigarette, then reveals that he is a cop and proceeds to give my friend a ticket because you can't smoke on a subway platform." Needless to say, but I will, what a dick.

-Why do food companies put reduced fat and less sugar on labels; if anything, this makes me less likely to purchase your product - If I wanted to eat healthy, I'm not so sure stuffing my face with ice cream after dinner is the answer anyway.

-If anyone I'm having a conversation with says the word necessary in a sentence, I try my best to refrain from quoting Dodgeball, but it’s tough.

-There has been such a surge of reality TV that I can barely watch the Soup anymore. And now is the emergence of these "reality actors" who just stretch out there 1 minute of fame as to where it's not even reality anymore. The scripted television I watch is more real than reality TV.

-I went to the fair the other weekend hosted in my town, to which my brother made a good point - fairs are really unfair. I guess that's ironic?

-And finally, to anyone who has seen all these iPhone commercials talking about the 85,000 or so apps it has... I don't think I've ever seen one app that I've ever used or seen anyone else ever use. They just don't seem that necessary! Necessary? is it necessary for me to dri... damnit.

Return to School

Hello all, its good to finally be back after the hiatus of summer. Might as well as get right back into the swing of things.

Back at school, there are some things I noticed I missed, and some things I noticed I didn't miss.

Things I missed :
Unlimited dining hall food.
Freedom.
Going to sleep at 3-4 am.
Halo is always on... somewhere...
Never have to clean the bathroom.
My fridge has a plentiful stock of Natty's.
Availability of constant distraction by friends doing useless things.

Things I didn't miss :
The unlimited dining hall food...
Going to sleep at 3-4 am..
Halo is ALWAYS on...somewhere...
The bathroom that no one has cleaned from weekend escapades on a Sunday morning...
Homework.
No food in my fridge.. all the space is taken up by Natty's
My friends always distracting me when I need to do work.

I am on fall break right now, and one thing I am catching up on is sleep. It's like a plague of breaks. Sleep gets irrationally ranked over other activities for the first few days back because I have no schedule to interrupt sleep. For example, on Monday, I actually slept more hours in the day than I was awake. And during the breaks between the 4 naps I took, I ate during three of them. I worked out during the other "break" from sleeping. I actually accomplished accomplishing nothing. I felt so accomplished.

I never thought I would have to censor my Facebook wallposts and comments based on the time of posting. "We should hang out and catch up" might be interpreted differently if posted at 3:47am instead of mid-afternoon. Keep that in mind.

Yankees rule.

I got back to Long Island from Notre Dame in Indiana by way of 12-passenger van with the Crew team; we competed at the Head of the Charles in Boston this past Saturday (2nd..whattup) and drove out starting Thursday afternoon. Staring out the window for hours, I realized that I "racially-profiled" each car based on it's license plate, obviously completely unwarranted. New York drivers were of course the best and most awesome. New Jersey cars smelled bad. CT and MA were snooty and stuck up. Californians were laid back, didn't care about cruising in the right hand lane. Ohio drivers were terrible. And every car from the West/Mid-West obviously held the most boring and slow drivers and passengers possible.
After stopping for dinner at some shady PA rest stop, I pointed to a van in the parking lot with an Indiana license plate... "Well I bet THAT van contains a bunch of fun people." I voiced aloud, pointing.
It was our van. Fail.


Hope everyone's school year is better than the last. Unless you had to join the real world...haha.

-Garrett

Sungoations isn't a Real Word: 7

Yes, so a fan page has been made, is it tacky? Maybe. Do I really think this is website is good enough to merit one? Hmm, sure. Anyway, I know I have more free time than I know what to do with, so why not read this, I write so little it only takes a minute, anyway, this is what's up...

-In my dorm building, there are 4 elevators, two on one wall, and two directly across facing each other. I have lived here for over a month now, taking them everyday, and yet whenever I get out I am still so disoriented, I find myself almost walking into the elevator suites everyday.

-To all those people who read the book then saw the movie, we get it, the book was better you pompous dick.

-To all those who read the book after seeing the movie, we already know the book was better, stop trying to be like the other guy.

-Whenever I am on the subway, I find myself staring at the occasional open seat, then back at the other people standing gauging whether or not they deserve it more than me. I am a 19 year old male, I never deserve it more. If I took that seat, it'd be guilt-trip city.

-Also, when I try to transfer from my line to the express line only to get back on my line, attempting to "catch" the subway train ahead of the one I was on, I always end up waiting to transfer back to my original car, wondering if the strangers I was with 20 minutes ago noticed I had gone and come back.

-If you spray Pam on a surface and leave it there for awhile, will it get sticky?

-In a perfect world, opposite day cannot exist.

-Why are there pictures of jacked dudes on cologne? Do they smell better than normal guys? If anything they are probably sweaty and smelly from working out all the time. Also, I don't need to be looking at that every time I don't put on cologne.

Well this was a longer one for me, so I'll leave a couple thoughts for next time... Tell your friends to become fans of mine!

A New Year: SG 6

Over the summer, I went back and forth debating whether or not to share my random thoughts, I ultimately decided no because summer never really changes, it's always the same for me, but now that college has started up again, I'm back for now...

-As much as I'd like to arrange something with my college friends over the summer, I told myself I'd see them for like 7 out of the next 8 months, so I never did it. It helped me convince myself that I'm not lazy.

-"Heyyyy, how was your summer?" (you know that Heyyyy as in "I totally recognize you sort of but I have no idea what your name is) We've all had this conversation with dozens of people as soon as we get back. It's great for those 15 or so people whose name you forgot because while you recognized them, you just can't remember mar-something's name, and you don't have to address them by name... anyway after about 2 hours back, I already wanted to shoot myself, pretend I said all my hellos and start drinking.

-I constantly find myself watching television or a movie and laughing at a really clever line that deals with everyday situations only to think of ways to do a similar thing in a somewhat different situation. Being original is too difficult nowadays, especially when you are committed to as many great tv shows as I am.

-When I hear older people (now when I say this, I mean like late 20's-ish) talk to other older people, I can’t help but notice that the same things that make you cool as a teen make people not want to talk to you if you’re about 10 years older.

-But, at the same time as a 19 year old I can just claim that it’s a generation thing, and their generation didn’t grow up with power rangers, so my new mighty morphin t-shirt is really cool, and I can wear it in public.

-As a little kid, I could never understand why anyone would want a firm mattress. It made a lot more sense once I started to get a little older...

-I just re-watched Space Jam, and it was even better than I remember.

-He's fixing a divot!

-Haha, anyway, and really now how did this whole status update phase not die out like months ago? Enough said.

-Ryan McCarthy just updated College, SLAP!

Finals Week -- Sungoations 5

In a desperate attempt at a distraction, I bring to you the latest installment of what's going on in my head, and the world's quirks that irk my world.

-One of the good old Dane Cook jokes involved finding the "Karen the douchebag" among your friends. I was recently thinking about that, and how if you don't know who it is, it's probably you. Thank God, I just realized who it was among my friends.

-Is it just me, or has anyone else not made the correlation between a quarterback, halfback, and fullback. Ok, so maybe I am the only one who didn't realize until now that they all ended with back. But, look more closely, while the quarterback is generally a quarter of the way back, the halfback stands the full way back, the fullback stands halfway back. Get your shit together football.

-Is it so sad in our society of a constant lack of face to face communication, that a screwed up emoticon can actually affect us. I got winky frowny face the other day - ;( - (how do you parenthesize emoticons) and was clueless on what that meant. When I asked about it, they just signed off.

-Speaking of which, I was so excited that I came up with a new emoticon that would make me millions (yeah, millions). The raised eyebrows (-:3. Then I found out it already exists in the cooler form (-B. I just can't get a win.

-Why do toilet seats in a house bathroom have closed ovals, but in public restrooms, there is a gap in the front?

-Everyone loves Judd Apatow movies, let's face it, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Superbad, they're all brilliant. But I think I finally figured out the formula for their movies' success. Ever notice how all of those same guys are in the movies, but none of them are successful comedians. Instead of using their one liners in a routine, they tie them in to now quotable movies with an almost formulated plot-line of friends breaking up, [insert middle of movie], then getting back together at the end.

-It's so awkward when walking up a narrow path and realizing that you are about to encounter an awkward situation where there won't be enough room to walk by comfortably. You both know it, see it coming...it's so awkward, that the realizing of the occurrence is more awkward than the actual inevitable awkward moment itself.

-I'll leave you to end on this note, reverting back to how I thought as a child. It confused the 8 year old shit out of me that when you breathe in, you look skinnier, but when you blow out all the air, your gut gets bigger.

It's Been Awhile, SG 4

Ok so, here's my entertainment...some call it bimonthly, most don't know what this is, others don't know what bimonthly means. Anyway, I haven't blabbered in awhile, mostly due to the fact that I've done the healthy thing by venting to people instead of to a word document-let's see if I can remember any of it...

-I can't tell what's healthier for me, pointing out everybody's minor faults or slips, where they'll be mad at me, but I'll be satisfied...or holding it back, and having nicer friends, but then built up rage from not saying anything.

-They say that venting is good for you(see Office Season 2, Episode 21 - Conflict Resolution); it's supposed to relieve tension and make you feel better. It just gets me into more trouble, and then I'm even more stressed about people thinking I'm weird.

-Is it too cliche to pull a prank on April Fool's Day? I feel like such a tard saying "April FOOLS!!" But then again, as a self entitled "pranker" (seriously, I'm the only one who thinks I'm a good practical joker), this should be my day to shine. It's like Rosh Hashana for a half jew.

-As much as I dislike the NBA, I get why it exists. These guys are phenominal athletes that put on decent competition...and there are people that love watching games. It makes money... I don't, however, understand why the WNBA exists...

-Ok, so many of my friends have gotten the new Pokemon. I've always wondered how come in pokemon, the other pokemon never leveled up if it defeated you? And wouldn’t it be easier to catch em all if you could throw a pokeball at it after it fainted? Like it's probably on the ground lying there, fainted, this is ideal one would think...

-There's only so much action in a movie that can make up for bad acting...Enter Con Air, it teeters right on the edge of this fine line. I'm onto you Nicholas Cage, I still don't understand why I enjoy your movies.

-Comedians would have the most amazing lives if what they said for jokes about what happened to them, actually happened to them. Think about any famous comedian telling a story, and how incredulous the story is. Classic example - Dane Cook...enough said, that's all he does.

-So finally, I got around to doing this. In the meantime, I had taken note to my good friend Brian, who made a new blog about new things such as music, clothes, whatever -- http://somesauce.blogspot.com/ It's informative as well as humorous just to see what other people in the world come up with. Also he knows more than I do about the bands I consider myself more loyal to, and while that saddens me, at least I now know about Wolfmother's new album, until next time...

Time Consuming

Well it's been a while since an update because school has whittled down to the last few weeks, and "spring break planning" is now "summer planning." But since then, quite a few things have happened. Notre Dame missed the NCAA tourney, big surprise. Obama is still president. I still find it necessary to stay up until 4am for no reason. Anyway, onto some thoughts...

One of the pleasures of a late weekend night is the joy of drunk texting and drunk facebooking. It can cause unwanted fights, reveal unknown secrets, or let everyone know that you "love them." Ryan posted in a message to a few of my friends this message. "holy $h!t so drunk fordham bar, ran $h!t 9-0 me and kennny, im lost innwotrds." Knowing Ryan, it was easy to translate. "Hello everyone. I am ecstatic and in disbelief! My friend Kenny and I ran the beer pong tables 9 straight times! And due to my consumption of large amounts of alcohol, I seem to have lost my ability to continue my thoughts and therefore this conversation. Goodnight!"

I was sitting in a booth studying at Lafortune, our Student Center, when I couldn't help but overhear the conversation going on next to me. I paid it little attention until I heard this line from a frustrated girl. "Ugh, spell check is always wrong. If you're talking about more than one of the United States, isn't it United States's?(United States-ses-ses) You know, cause there's like, 50 of them??" After my mind came to a screeching halt, the only thing I could think about was, "Yep, she voted too."

I have a very ethnic math professor teaching me calculus 2 for engineers, and he has this fun habit of standing right in front of the board blocking anything he has written while he writing other stuff down. He's not particularly skinny, so he'll write down an equation to solve, then proceed to block it and ask us whats the next step. Here I am fuming in the back row because he loves the phrase, "Is this clear? Yes?" But since its a math class, obviously no one responds. In hindsight, I realize there isn't much he can do because he's a righty, but its just a huge pet peeve of mine that it's not a perfect world.

One more quick thing about math.. proofs and proving concepts. Just tell me how to do it. I don't need to know why integrals of natural logs are related to "e", and it's unecessary to spend 25 minutes and 4 pages of my notebook explaining all this to end up saying, "Ok, so that's proving the concept. You can just use this formula to do it all in one step."

Notre Dame is a pretty big campus, with quite a few "quads." There are a bunch of sidewalks crisscrossing each one, and I think it's a rule that you must have one awkward avoidance encounter at an intersection with someone every time you walk somewhere. Regardless of the time, it could be 6am and I'm catching a bus to a regatta for crew, and I'll see a single person 200 yards away. 2 minutes later, we both inevitably arrive at the same intersection, and come to a dead halt 3 feet apart because neither one of us could decide to go right or left.

People who walk slow irk me. A lot. On my way to each class I'll pass 20+ people on the 5 minutes walk. I don't get it... they aren't enjoying the weather, because its usually cold outside, they aren't injured, they aren't texting, they're just.. walking obnoxiously slow. And you always end up looking obnoxious when you try to squeeze by them on the sidewalk and slightly bump them. Sorry, but I don't enjoy listening to your conversation with your friend about how to pluralize our country.

I was at Subway waiting in line. My sandwich was toasted, and I was waiting for the condiments behind some girl. When the Subway worker asked her what she wanted, she said, "lettuce, tomato.. and SEVEN cucumbers." I don't know, I just thought that was kind of odd that this was necessary for her to announce. I'd appreciate any sort of explanation.

In a few buildings here, there are these like... "long" steps. They make you look extremely awkward walking up them. Everyone knows what I'm talking about. They're like, 3/4 the height of a normal step, and twice the "distance" between each one. So you can take like an awkward half step in between each mini-step upwards, or you can just look like an idiot as you take super huge strides and go 2 steps at a time. The steps are completely unnecessary. Just make normal ones.

I'm a late night crammer study-er for tests. That's just my style, I have to do it all the night before. But, studying for 3-7 hours the night before a test and learning everything there is to know about chemical reactions or momentum, I hate the day after the morning exam. I don't like wasting much time doing all of that work just to answer 50 questions and 3 essays. I feel like I should integrate it into my life because I clearly spent a significant amount of time grinding it into my brain. "Hey do you know what the time is?" "Yeah, 11:43, and force equals mass times acceleration in case you were wondering."

Oh, and the new facebook sucks.

Later-

Bonding: Man Edition

Over the past few years, adapting to different environments as a male in his late teens, I have noticed a very distinct difference between the two genders. Ladies, I have no idea why, but I have constantly heard how hard it is to make new friends with other females. This made me realize how easy it is to meet men, not in a gay way, just in a hey mate, just wanna say that you're lookin' okay mate...Anyway...

-For starters, movie quotes are crème de la crème for "male bonding". Think about it, guys mostly watch all the same movies, and we often quote movies in everyday speech. I know I do it more often than any one should. However, anyone who picks up on me saying, "He called the shit poop," knows that I'm talking about Billy Madison, and I can have a discussion with this person for like 20 minutes on one of my favorite movies of all time.

-Likewise, making references to anything that men should know is the exact same way. Although, I have always said that making them is a crapshoot, because you look retarded if no one gets references, which is why I try to make them very subtly. For instance, in my introduction, I made a Flight of the Conchords reference...P.S. if you got that, let's be friends. If not, what are you doing with your life http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2LpeA3jcEU

-My buddy Kevin visited me at school this weekend. Knowing that half my friends at school played hockey, as did Kevin, I introduced him as follows, "Yo Nick, this is Kevin, Kevin, Nick, you both play hockey." Needless to say, the combination of that and NHL '09, he got along with my friends pretty well.

-Free T-shirts...forget about it. I am constantly comparing my collection. Not only do the shirts themselves create for discussion, but the ridiculous events we show up to just to get a breast cancer awareness t-shirt make for a good laugh or two. Hell I admit that a huge reason I donated blood was for a free t-shirt. It's for the greater good, right?

-I realized that months ago during the time of Halloween parties, that is a terrific way to meet guys (NHI). Think about it, this even works with the girls...sort of. The costume itself is a conversation starter, let alone you already know an interest of the person you are talking to. I don't need to spell it out for you, it makes sense, trust me. I'm only friends with Ace Ventura fans now because of this.

-After telling you what you should already have known, I'll leave you with something I thought of after being constanty frustrated with how the NFL and all of football is so slow because of all the reviews and stuff. You know how dogtags work for those invisible fences, they totally need to set up a similar system with the endzone and the ball, but instead of a little shock, all they'd need is a light to go on in the stadium somewhere. Boom goes the dynamite (btw, Will Smith said boom goes the dynamite last night during the Academy Awards...viral videos are spreading everywhere) - http://www.faniq.com/blog/Video-Will-Smith-Says-Boom-Goes-The-Dynamite-At-Oscars-Blog-19665

Sungoations 3

So yesterday was Superbowl XLIII. While it was one of the most exciting superbowl games of all time, I got all of my excitement out of the boxes. At every point during the game, I'd root for safteys, going for 2 extra points, field goals instead of touchdowns (I had terrible numbers like 5-5, 9-5, etc.) I was rooting for the boxes more than the Cardinals (I hate the Steelers, give it up to Roethlisberger though, he had a great game.) Anyway, I've noticed many interesting things over the past few weeks that don't involve sweaty men.

-On the train the other day, I saw this guy listening to his iPod. He was laughing hysterically; I thought he must have either been listening to a comedian or was crazy. That's when I thought back that I have definitely listened to Mitch Hedberg with headphones on in a public place before, and someone probably thought I was crazy, but how can you not laugh at, "I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it."

-The worst thing for a soccer goalie must be having to get the ball out of the net after he's scored on. That's when I thought that the equivalent of that in baseball would be the pitcher having to go get the ball after a homerun. That would suck.

-Why can't McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's, etc. all agree on a 92 cent menu. It's not a 99 cent or dollar menu when you have to spend $1.08. The dollar menu should mean, "I have a dollar, you have some food, let's trade on even terms."

-You know the soandsoscreenname is typing... thing on AIM? I hate it when I am having a conversation, and I'm about to say something, but that comes up, so I wait for them to say whatever they need to say. It'll come up for like 5 minutes, so I'm thinking wow this is gonna be great! Then it just disappears, and you wasted 5 minutes of your life because the person probably just left a letter in the input box.

-I do love however, when you accidentally interrupt someone else's conversation, they type into your conversation for a few seconds, and either realize it and change it, or they send you, "omg, i love john and kate plus 8, too!!" How embarrassing.

-'Apart' and 'a part' are like completely opposites. That's retarded.

-The path between campus and one of our buildings off campus is narrow enough to only let 3 lanes of side by side walking. It's very awkward when you'll be walking with a group of 4 (2x2), and are walking by another group of 2x2 people. It's even worse when you merge, don't realize there's someone you know in that group until after they pass, and now it looks like you are ignoring that. You'll make it worse if you turn around and shout something, just keep walking, explain later.

-I'll end with my rolled up sleeves theory for sweatshirts. Most sweatshirts are designed so that if you have the sleeves down to the end, the sleeve is a little loose, thus allowing a draft to get in and make you a bit chilly. If you roll up your sleeves a little bit, sure it exposes your forearm, but your overall body is warmer because you now have that seal that prevents the draft from entering at the arm holes. It's worth the forearm sacrifice, trust me, try it out.

Wake Up.. it's College Gameday

This past weekend was a big weekend, as ESPN's College Gameday came to Notre Dame's Joyce Center (JACC, our basketball arena) for the first time. The entire student body got e-mails about what was happening when and where, such as when the show was airing, where they'd be filming, for how long, when the doors opened, etc. All they really did was send out a party schedule e-mail. "If you want to be on national television, you must party before midnight on Friday, then stay overnight. We will be filming from 10-12. Party from 1-530. Come back for part 2 and the game."

Filming the show was nuts. maybe 2-3k people(90% students) showed up, hyped up on either intense support for the school or disbelief that this many students were awake at 8am on a saturday morning. Kids crowded around a camera moving up an aisle like vultures circling a prey. Students were literally climbing over one another to get on tv... after all, the majority of kids spent the night in the gym next door in order to get great seats. We had a great system when filming the show. When Digger Phelps (ex-ND-bball coach) talkd, everyone cheered their brains out, because he knew he was pro-ND(we were playing UConn(we lost)). Whenever anyone else was talking, we booed. A lot. The producer guy kept on yelling at us because they couldn't hear each other. Not our problem.

I saw the Harlem Globetrotters that weekend too. Last time I saw them I was like, 8. And you know what? It was still awesome.

I watch the movie "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" they other night. I didn't know you could make a movie in which theres a 7-minutes scene of just peoples eyes and guns in a standoff that coudl keep you on the edge of your seat. I highly recommend this movie, because of epic Clint Eastwood quotes like this... "Six is the perfect number... because I have six bullets in my gun."

Sean Poe... here you go.(Don't ask.)

When I get a package at school from home, its really easy to tell who packed it up and sent it. If I open it and its everything I asked to be sent out, then I know my dad sent it. However, if I open it and theres little notes attached to everything, an extra $20 thrown in, and extra little items added that I don't really need or those I asked for in excess (I need pens.... "Here's 40"), I know my mom packed that one, but hey, only a mother's love.

My math teacher wore the same collared shirt for about 4 classes in a row (Note.. this is a MWF class..) I've figured he either doesn't shower, does laundry every night, or he's the greatest party-holic alive.

Waking up in the morning is obviously a huge deal for every college student. Every MWF I have a 9:35 class across campus, and I have to get outta my room at the latest 9:23 to be on time. Besides the 2 alarms on my iHome and 3 on my cell, I always go through a moral argument every morning. "Can I miss this class? Well yes, but I'd probably be confused next time....Am I up early enough to shower? If you get up now, yes. Or you can get 15 min more of sleep." 15 min later, I race outta bed, grab my laptop, books, random things to eat, jacket, and I run downstairs and out the front door. I'm congratulating myself along the way, after all, it's 910am and I'm already on my way.....
But here's what ruins it. The minute you step outside, there are kids everywhere, hundreds of other students that either had an 830 class or got up to get breakfast. And suddenly it makes my great effort to get up and go to class on time seem like nothing. My sacrifice to arise turns to laziness to awaken when I see other people out at this time. I want it to be deserted, dark, and a man hands me a medal at the entrance to my class building as he says "You are an amazing individual for getting up this early after playing NHL09 till 3am last night."

Have you ever been walking across campus, and you hear conversation going on behind you, and you're pretty sure its a friend because you recognize the voice, but you aren't 100% sure it's them?? You have a decision to make... should you turn around and risk being a really creepy looking person if its not your friends, or just keep on walking and ignore them, and hopefully they didn't know it was you. It's even worse when its a girl that you know.

One of my buddies got a few very noticeable hickies last weekend, of which we obviously ripped on him for of course. But what was the most entertaining were the excuses he made up or we theorized about. He does boxing, so that worked for a while. "I was sparring in practice.....I was hit by a snowball.... I went paintballing.... I was mauled by a bear...I was beaten up by a man with very tiny fists."

Here it Goes: New Face, Same Place

Now, I love to share a good thing, and I like to look at this little blog as a good thing. Our good friend Brian has always been more of a writer than Garrett and myself, but as you may come to know, he has a certain style about him. I'm here to let you know that the kid is currently having a blast at Binghamton. After reading this, you may come to look at what I write about as the "lighter side"; but as we've come to know him, he goes out and has a great time, then days later, he basically analyzes his "simple little life". I'll let you come to judge, and in the same words with which it was presented to me, so here it goes...

Getting back to school now, it is only clearer that you always want what you can’t have. All break long I slept until 3 pm when my buddy Kevin wasn’t calling me to wake up and work out, or when I had some insignificant family chore to complete to insure that the poor college kid had gas in his car. All break long, I longed for easily accessible alcohol and convenient drunkenness, inhibited by living with my parents and the privilege of having to drive myself everywhere (sober). However, now that I’m back, I actually have homework and a schedule to follow, I have to earn my weekends, and I can’t sleep all day or drive anywhere. I can’t even get a solid breakfast after 2 in the afternoon anymore. And it’s cold as eff. At least I can still go to the gym on the other side of campus and stare at asses on the treadmill.

The good news is: Now I’m surrounded by Binghamton girls.
The bad news: being surrounded by Binghamton girls.
Can’t catch a break there.

In my first astronomy lecture of the semester, the professor was showing slides of different stars, galaxies, and heavenly structures. He says that the crab nebula has a pulsar at its center that is about 16 miles long. One awkward fool next to me: “That’s what she said…………………………..Wait, no she didn’t.” A little later on fatboy professor puts a Stephen Hawking quote on the board, and asks the class if anyone knows who Hawking is. One kid sitting a few rows behind me says, “Uh, the Christopher Reeves guy?” He sounded pretty serious. Part of me already wants to be at Cornell…

In the cab home after my first late night out back in Bing on Saturday, while with two girls we had convinced we were seniors, a kid in the back of the cab found a tennis racket. I decided I could try to sneak it out of the cab without the driver noticing if I put it under my shirt and pretended the handle sticking out the neck of my shirt was a phone. Once we get back to my dorm, I hop out and walk inside, and shortly after the driver knocks on the door while I was trying it out on Stefano’s limbs in the hallway. Turns out it hurts. He politely asked for his racket back because he plays all the time, saying I could get my own at Walmart for about $12. Turns out it was the same dick driver who kicked us out 15 blocks from a frat while it was snowing one night, when we surely didn’t have jackets or layers on because frat parties don’t have coat checks, only warm beer and dirty bathrooms. I should have thrown it through his windshield.

I lost my room key. While sober, the night I was snowed before coming home for break. It fell out of my pocket either in a movie theater or Walmart. A MONTH AGO. That shit is a certifiable sacrifice to the gods. I now have to pay $70 to change the locks in my room. FML. What kind of bs is that? It’s not like a Walmart employee is going to have the resources to locate the door which that key opens, infiltrate the campus, and put peanut butter on the roof of my mouth while I am sleeping. Tom Cruise isn't donning smiley-face buttons undercover waiting for THAT impossible mission.

Ever notice how great awkward relationships are when you can exploit them on the weekends? I point out all the kids from my hall who I have embarrassing nicknames for, tell them to their face, and neither of us remember the specifics, the reunion or the emotional damage caused the night before, just back to blaring silence as we stare at the floor, ceiling, or doors in the elevator. I love college.

-Brian C.

The Search for the Perfect Stall on a Saturday Morning

A spark to a new set of articles I will publish between sungoations. I'm trying it out for now, we'll see how it goes.

“Ok, gotta take the Browns to the Superbowl, let’s look for a good stall…
First Stall: Friday night last night? Oh god, there’s puke everywhere

Let’s see if anyone made it down to the fifth one… well apparently several people found out about the 4 for the price of 1 chalupa deal at Tex Mex. I wonder if a lot of people use this stall because it has the window, or no one uses it because it has a window. Anyway, let’s try next door.

Fourth stall: piss everywhere, I’m beginning to regret only having one urinal in this bathroom.

Third stall: I guarantee everyone uses this one because no one thinks the center will ever be occupied, comparing it to a set of 5 urinals. It’s different with stalls, I’m too smart for this one. Plus there’s piss and I’m still a little too close to that vomit smell.

Second stall: I can see the vomit leaking over to me on the floor, I think there might be a little more in a second if I don’t move.

Final verdict: I’d usually go to ole faithful fourth stall, but I am beginning to regret amazing deals for awful mexican food combined with dirty mexican beer, so I feel a potential toxic shit coming on, plus I have my key on me; I’ll just hit up the ladies bathroom down the stairs.”

Back to the Bronx: Paradox Life

This week was my first one back at Manhattan, and it has shed some light on things that I had not noticed before. Thinking back on when I am doing one thing for awhile, or living at one place for some time, I always envision changing to be a process. However, once I begin something different (like living at school again) I'm back into my old mode of school, and I can't imagine going home; I live the Paradox Life.

-Before I waste my time talking about how my life is backwards, let's think about college friends. Saying hey to everyone you see in a day is definitely a process. I used to have tunnel vision and just focus straight ahead to avoid awkward situations. Lately, I have decided to be more open and say hi to basically everyone. The thing is I don't know where I want to establish the cut-off line, so I may ignore someone who says hi, and I could say hi to someone currently in tunnel vision. There's nothing like getting shut down to a nod-hello.

-Entourage brought it up best I think around the third season when turtle did the nod-hello to Drama's "guaranteed" girl; you can't really look like more of a loser than saying hi two ways, and getting shut down twice in one shot.

-I can't decide which I hate more: a hot shower with no pressure (home), or a freezing shower with enough pressure to kill a mule (college).

-The freedom that comes with going away to college is something I definitely took for granted when I went home. At night in school, a lot of the time, plans don't formulate until like 10. At home, my parents were sleeping an hour ago. It's not really called sneaking out if you leave them a text to read in the morning right? Not according to them; I get yelled at for so many things at home that don't even phase college Ryan.

-As I was saying, I'm a very paradoxical person in that I very much enjoy silence at times, but awkward silences annoy the shit out of me. I wish there was some sort of device that could that automatically sparked up a conversation between two people, ending the silence's awkwardness. I think that's why God created the iPod, because with music, there exists no awkward silences.

-After having been in the shower for a few minutes, do you ever forget which body parts you washed? I inevitably end up having to wash nearly everything again. The weird thing is, I’m like part OCD and part really lazy, so I’m like, I probably washed that, don't have to worry about that, but I definitely gotta wash this. Yeah, I didn't think so...I'm weird.

-I leave my weird little life to bring to you something I thought of - what if an extreme insomniac also had an intense case of narcolepsy. Usually narcolepsy has some sort of trigger, so if you're the asshole friend of this person, you could have a little fun either making him always go to sleep or staying up days on end. I guess in that case, you could only wish for a less paradoxical life with better friends...

Traveling and Break

Well, the holidays are over, and my first Christmas break as a college student was too short, or at least it felt that way... I guess sleeping for about 40% of my entire break would do that. But nonetheless, it was filled with a bunch of memorable stories and thoughts, some are funny, some are interesting, so here we go:

After being home for the first two weeks I noticed a few things that I definitely took for granted at home that I don't have/did not have to do at college. For example, I don't have to climb a ladder to get in or out of my bed, the bathroom is 10 feet away, and the fridge is full of actual edible and perishable items instead of cans and condiments.

It sucks having to drive everywhere. 17 year-old Garrett-with-a-new-license would probably curse me, but its a hassle if I want to hang out with friends, because I can't walk next door or about 200 feet to their dorm.

Lack of late-night social life... not saying there isn't any on Long Island, but a college campus at 2am on a saturday is still buzzing... Its pretty easy to find somewhere to hang out or something to do. The only thing 2am gets you on Long Island is no traffic and taco-bell's, 7-11's, and Dunkin' Donuts'.

I actually missed quarterdogs at ND. For those of you that don't know, QD's are hot-dogs that go on sale in our student center at midnight for.. you guessed it, a quarter apiece. Its surprising how many people show up for a hot-dog at midnight, especially on the weekends. Never has one dollar been spent so well... on indigestion.

In other news, some other things...

I pulled into the NYSC gym's parking lot near me one day over break, and there was a LINE to park. A LINE. Reason? They wanted one of the parking spots in the first 2 rows, not the last 6 Is it just me, or is it kind of ridiculous that the people going to the GYM make a visible effort to park no more than 20 yards away so they don't have to walk that far??

I turned 19 over break... woo. Now I can buy tobacco legally in NY, not like I needed to in the first place. But in other news, I was thinking about the "Happy Birthday" song, like when it is sung to you at a party. Is there any right way to act? You can't really sing it along with anyone, because its for you; You look around, but EVERYONE is making eye contact with you, so you just sit there and smile and semi-laugh along until its over... just one long awkward laugh.


Over break I did a bunch of traveling, besides the multiple flights to and from school, I also drove to Virginia for a few days. And I figured out that I despise the clueless people in the airports....
- At the auto-check-in kiosk in front of me, some lady thought you had to "double-tap" for each button in her password... which you don't have to. This required 3... THREE... employees to figure out why her password wasn't working. And 15 minutes of my time. It was the only kiosk open.
- My flight out of NY-LGA to Cincinnati was canceled and re-routed to Detroit, Michigan. The flight took off an hour late, and I missed my connection to South Bend, Indiana(where ND is.) Upon arrival, my flight, which had about 25 kids who needed to get to SB on it, were told that there was only one more flight today going to SB that was open.. and there was no one on the standby list. The Service desk was gate A43... we were at gate A8. I took off first, legitimately running down the airport 1/4 mile to the gate(Midwest airports are really spread out). 5 kids commandeered an airport golf cart and passed me on the right, but were stopped by food vendors blocking the aisle. A short while later, I was the first one the finish the sprint, followed by 24 other huffing and puffing kids. I was first on the waiting list. I ended up being the only person accepted onto the flight. Yay for being in shape. 5 kids cried at the counter. Hopefully they made it lol.
-On this same flight, I met a man who led one of the most incredulous lives ever. Literally. First of all, the setting. A dark plane cabin, super quiet. This Indian guy sits down next to me, sticks his hand out, and practically shouts "Hi, I'm Mike." In my mind, "Crap, this guy wants to talk." Little did I know what I was in for:
--- Mike grew up in southern India. He attended boarding school, then dental school. He specialized in jaw surgery, and proceeded for the next 12 years to travel the globe performing special surgeries. One day he risked most of his savings in a hedge fund on wall street.. and hit it big. Mike took 3 years off, worked in a surf shop on a California beach coast "for the half-Mexican babes", and now he travels the globe, performing surgeries and business, and finding a new girlfriend in every country. His friends drive Ferrari's and Lambo's, he's been to 70-something countries(showed me his passport), and on his off-weekends he sails on yachts and spends time driving around Dubai living the dream. He informed me that the next big thing to spend money on is land in India with cows on them, selling them later for a profit...his advice for me as an engineering student was "Forget chicks. Make money. Then the chicks will come my friend."

-Snow accumulation at ND has begun. It snows. It never melts. Ever. The snow from before Christmas is still here.. underneath another 14 inches. Great. It was also -15 the other day. TEMPERATURE. With wind chill? -42 at midnight. You know how cold that it? My breath froze in mid-air then snowed to the ground. Then the ketchup on my Quarterdog froze. Damnit

That's about it for now... it was a little dry, we'll see about next time.

First Break in Review

For me, winter vacation for a college student is the weirdest vacation. Sure, we are used to the 3 months or so of summer vacation where we have summer jobs, planned out trips, etc. Whether you have 3 or 6 weeks for winter vacation, the same questions still occur: Do I get a job? Do I go somewhere with my friends? I just inevitably end up doing the same thing everyday. The only productive thing I have done is watch some movies that I have been deprived of not seeing yet in my life (take Goodfellas for example). Without further ado, let's take my first winter break in review.

-I know I'm supposed to be living the life/dream with five weeks of nothing to do, but after awhile, it does get a little boring. No one besides other college kids can sympathize with this feeling, and that makes it kind of worse.

-My friends and I have come up with so many things to do, all of which bring us back to childhood: laser-tag, zoo, aquarium. I wish that when I was a kid, I could drive, because now I'm either too embarrassed or too lazy, because we haven't done a single thing on that list for this break.

-Why do we type something up, but write it down. I still can just never understand directional common phrases.

-Around Thanksgiving, I decided that I wanted to try out wearing scarves, easily one of the gayer things I've ever done. I don't think scarves are gay at all, but planning out a pretty plain fashion style to incorporate into your life is up there on the flameter.

-After a few attempts, I didn't really go through with the scarves idea, which now frustrates me because now my neck gets cold often, but more than that, my friend Cait told me that according to Cosmo, scarves were the sexy thing for men this season. To think of all the men I could have attracted. Effff

-In that last bullet, I inflicted the NHI rule. I'm not sure about the older and younger generations, but ours is definitely a fan of the phrase, no homo. "Dude that scarf you're wearing makes you look really sexy, no homo." Now, if the man doesn't say no homo, and he's a trusted source who I know is straight, I inflict the NHI rule (no homo implied). If I or others are unsure of his affinity, may God have mercy on his soul.

-A lot of the time, I don’t hear or feel my phone when you’re trying to contact me, I’m probably not ignoring you, well, unless I actually am, and in that case, stop trying to call me, I can’t hear or feel my phone anyway.

-Since I got a new phone about two months ago, I have only taken it off of vibrate a handful of times...so infrequent that I don't even recognize my obnoxious ring. When I do actually put the ringer on, and I get called, I'm like, "What the ef is that noise, it's so annoying." Then I realized it's my phone and I feel like an asshole.

-I've always wished that I had a cool nickname. Anyone I went to high school with calls me McCarthy. This worked out great because there were so many ryans and brians in our irish mick of a prep school. Since I've gotten to college, I've begun the slow process of getting that to R-Mac, down to just Mac. Because, yes, I do love “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.” Project badass rules.

-And I'll end with the fact that I'm still always forgetting things. At this meeting I had in the city today, this guy was telling me how we were supposed to cherish these breaks that I've been bored during. I had a witty comment to retort, but then and now I simply can't remember it. I've been trying to carry around a little book to help me remember things more easily, but I simply always forget a pen to write it down. I then figure I can save it on Ryepod, but the battery died, so I can't type it up either.

Happy Holidays Edition

It's been awhile since I have picked my own brain, but at this time of year, I very rarely get anything productive done. Some things I've have noticed around the winter holidays include:

-It's pretty much an accepted fact that the time between Christmas and New Years includes absolutely nothing productive. These days fly by while you spend your time thinking about making plans...not actually making any. Back in grade school, it sucked a lot more because this is the only time you have off. Now I have so many weeks before and after it that I'm losing my mind finding something to do; would anyone like to be in a TV show?

-Because of that, I am writing a television show. I spent these weeks doing what every other person has been doing, abusing my Christmas (Hanukkah) gifts so much that I will probably never use them again by the end of January. Watching the extras on my It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia DVDs made me realize that I'm a lot like these guys, so I think I could write a TV show. I mean it's not like I have anything else to do, right?

-I spend most of my days thinking of new ways to make millions of dollars. I joined my brother in an online business which I plan to actually do some work on soon. I'm writing a television show which will hopefully make millions (did you get my e-mail yet, FX?). Who needs school when you have a wild imagination with zero work ethic?

-I love New Year's Eve parties as much as the next person, but when I'm having a great time before the clock strikes twelve, I've noticed something. For me, when we do the countdown, and the clock finally strikes, it's like now what? You keep on doing the exact same thing you were doing, nothing really changes. New Year's Eve is just another excuse for a party and a night in which to have a great time, but hey who's complaining?

-Christmas is my favorite holiday, but not because you get lots of cool presents. It is by far the laziest day of the year. Now that my family has grown a bit older, we all get to sleep in until late morning. We open gifts, then have a huge breakfast, after which we just spend the rest of the day playing games and eating. What a brilliant idea, why can't every holiday be spent this way?

-In the end, we're just left with a bunch of questions, but who cares about those, here are just a few things I've observed:

-When online shopping, don't make the same mistake I made. If you would like to purchase something from Dick's, the website is dicksportinggoods.com, definitely not something else.

-If you have a piece of paper you want to throw out, a heavy decision lies in whether or not you are going to attempt to throw it in the trash can like a basketball shot. If you make it, and play it cool, you're going to be rather satisfied with yourself (definitely don't overplay if you made it in, not as cool). However, if you miss, you just look like an ass who either sucks at basketball or litters.

-Oh, and finally to all the people who film their TV's and put up the videos on youtube - thanks for providing a video of something I had wanted to see on TV and missed, but one thing. The TV isn't going anywhere, why is your video shaking? You can put the camera down on a stack of books or something. Especially when you're going to be doing that to my future TV show, I wouldn't want terrible quality videos of it on youtube, that's all I ask.