Happy Holidays Edition

It's been awhile since I have picked my own brain, but at this time of year, I very rarely get anything productive done. Some things I've have noticed around the winter holidays include:

-It's pretty much an accepted fact that the time between Christmas and New Years includes absolutely nothing productive. These days fly by while you spend your time thinking about making plans...not actually making any. Back in grade school, it sucked a lot more because this is the only time you have off. Now I have so many weeks before and after it that I'm losing my mind finding something to do; would anyone like to be in a TV show?

-Because of that, I am writing a television show. I spent these weeks doing what every other person has been doing, abusing my Christmas (Hanukkah) gifts so much that I will probably never use them again by the end of January. Watching the extras on my It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia DVDs made me realize that I'm a lot like these guys, so I think I could write a TV show. I mean it's not like I have anything else to do, right?

-I spend most of my days thinking of new ways to make millions of dollars. I joined my brother in an online business which I plan to actually do some work on soon. I'm writing a television show which will hopefully make millions (did you get my e-mail yet, FX?). Who needs school when you have a wild imagination with zero work ethic?

-I love New Year's Eve parties as much as the next person, but when I'm having a great time before the clock strikes twelve, I've noticed something. For me, when we do the countdown, and the clock finally strikes, it's like now what? You keep on doing the exact same thing you were doing, nothing really changes. New Year's Eve is just another excuse for a party and a night in which to have a great time, but hey who's complaining?

-Christmas is my favorite holiday, but not because you get lots of cool presents. It is by far the laziest day of the year. Now that my family has grown a bit older, we all get to sleep in until late morning. We open gifts, then have a huge breakfast, after which we just spend the rest of the day playing games and eating. What a brilliant idea, why can't every holiday be spent this way?

-In the end, we're just left with a bunch of questions, but who cares about those, here are just a few things I've observed:

-When online shopping, don't make the same mistake I made. If you would like to purchase something from Dick's, the website is dicksportinggoods.com, definitely not something else.

-If you have a piece of paper you want to throw out, a heavy decision lies in whether or not you are going to attempt to throw it in the trash can like a basketball shot. If you make it, and play it cool, you're going to be rather satisfied with yourself (definitely don't overplay if you made it in, not as cool). However, if you miss, you just look like an ass who either sucks at basketball or litters.

-Oh, and finally to all the people who film their TV's and put up the videos on youtube - thanks for providing a video of something I had wanted to see on TV and missed, but one thing. The TV isn't going anywhere, why is your video shaking? You can put the camera down on a stack of books or something. Especially when you're going to be doing that to my future TV show, I wouldn't want terrible quality videos of it on youtube, that's all I ask.