The Search for the Perfect Stall on a Saturday Morning

A spark to a new set of articles I will publish between sungoations. I'm trying it out for now, we'll see how it goes.

“Ok, gotta take the Browns to the Superbowl, let’s look for a good stall…
First Stall: Friday night last night? Oh god, there’s puke everywhere

Let’s see if anyone made it down to the fifth one… well apparently several people found out about the 4 for the price of 1 chalupa deal at Tex Mex. I wonder if a lot of people use this stall because it has the window, or no one uses it because it has a window. Anyway, let’s try next door.

Fourth stall: piss everywhere, I’m beginning to regret only having one urinal in this bathroom.

Third stall: I guarantee everyone uses this one because no one thinks the center will ever be occupied, comparing it to a set of 5 urinals. It’s different with stalls, I’m too smart for this one. Plus there’s piss and I’m still a little too close to that vomit smell.

Second stall: I can see the vomit leaking over to me on the floor, I think there might be a little more in a second if I don’t move.

Final verdict: I’d usually go to ole faithful fourth stall, but I am beginning to regret amazing deals for awful mexican food combined with dirty mexican beer, so I feel a potential toxic shit coming on, plus I have my key on me; I’ll just hit up the ladies bathroom down the stairs.”