Here it Goes: New Face, Same Place

Now, I love to share a good thing, and I like to look at this little blog as a good thing. Our good friend Brian has always been more of a writer than Garrett and myself, but as you may come to know, he has a certain style about him. I'm here to let you know that the kid is currently having a blast at Binghamton. After reading this, you may come to look at what I write about as the "lighter side"; but as we've come to know him, he goes out and has a great time, then days later, he basically analyzes his "simple little life". I'll let you come to judge, and in the same words with which it was presented to me, so here it goes...

Getting back to school now, it is only clearer that you always want what you can’t have. All break long I slept until 3 pm when my buddy Kevin wasn’t calling me to wake up and work out, or when I had some insignificant family chore to complete to insure that the poor college kid had gas in his car. All break long, I longed for easily accessible alcohol and convenient drunkenness, inhibited by living with my parents and the privilege of having to drive myself everywhere (sober). However, now that I’m back, I actually have homework and a schedule to follow, I have to earn my weekends, and I can’t sleep all day or drive anywhere. I can’t even get a solid breakfast after 2 in the afternoon anymore. And it’s cold as eff. At least I can still go to the gym on the other side of campus and stare at asses on the treadmill.

The good news is: Now I’m surrounded by Binghamton girls.
The bad news: being surrounded by Binghamton girls.
Can’t catch a break there.

In my first astronomy lecture of the semester, the professor was showing slides of different stars, galaxies, and heavenly structures. He says that the crab nebula has a pulsar at its center that is about 16 miles long. One awkward fool next to me: “That’s what she said…………………………..Wait, no she didn’t.” A little later on fatboy professor puts a Stephen Hawking quote on the board, and asks the class if anyone knows who Hawking is. One kid sitting a few rows behind me says, “Uh, the Christopher Reeves guy?” He sounded pretty serious. Part of me already wants to be at Cornell…

In the cab home after my first late night out back in Bing on Saturday, while with two girls we had convinced we were seniors, a kid in the back of the cab found a tennis racket. I decided I could try to sneak it out of the cab without the driver noticing if I put it under my shirt and pretended the handle sticking out the neck of my shirt was a phone. Once we get back to my dorm, I hop out and walk inside, and shortly after the driver knocks on the door while I was trying it out on Stefano’s limbs in the hallway. Turns out it hurts. He politely asked for his racket back because he plays all the time, saying I could get my own at Walmart for about $12. Turns out it was the same dick driver who kicked us out 15 blocks from a frat while it was snowing one night, when we surely didn’t have jackets or layers on because frat parties don’t have coat checks, only warm beer and dirty bathrooms. I should have thrown it through his windshield.

I lost my room key. While sober, the night I was snowed before coming home for break. It fell out of my pocket either in a movie theater or Walmart. A MONTH AGO. That shit is a certifiable sacrifice to the gods. I now have to pay $70 to change the locks in my room. FML. What kind of bs is that? It’s not like a Walmart employee is going to have the resources to locate the door which that key opens, infiltrate the campus, and put peanut butter on the roof of my mouth while I am sleeping. Tom Cruise isn't donning smiley-face buttons undercover waiting for THAT impossible mission.

Ever notice how great awkward relationships are when you can exploit them on the weekends? I point out all the kids from my hall who I have embarrassing nicknames for, tell them to their face, and neither of us remember the specifics, the reunion or the emotional damage caused the night before, just back to blaring silence as we stare at the floor, ceiling, or doors in the elevator. I love college.

-Brian C.