Food For Thought

While many of these posts may have a common theme or a background story, lately I've been wondering about a lot of little things in life, watch me go.

-Taking a shit is a confusing term. I mean like I get why we say drop a deuce, you're literally leaving a number two in the flush bucket, but where did "take a shit" come from? Like, has anyone actually tried to literally take a shit? That's effing nasty.

-I don't understand why when we say "That sucks!" it means the exact same thing as "dude, that blows!" Apparently any movement of air due to a change in pressure, no matter what direction, signifies something unfortunate went down.

-Speaking of that, what’s the difference between "stuff went down" (meaning like what has happened), and "what’s up" (what's going to happen). Who decided to think of a timeline of things where stuff in the future is up, and the past is down. That may sound silly, but you tend to think of things in the future as "down the road," and that just fucks everything up.

-Usually when someone starts out saying something with "No, offense," some sort of offense usually entails.

-Furthermore, if you do a favor for someone and let them know you're accepting their gratitude with "no problem," there was probably some sort of problem or hassle.

-I was at a bar the other night with a karaoke station. With maybe ten people in the bar (it was early on), a girl decided it was time to karaoke. I feel like there's got to be a certain amount of people the bar needs to attain before karaoke can start, because when I make that loud obnoxious joke, there's a good chance the singer will know who made that loud obnoxious joke. All I ask for is anonymity damnit!

-Entourage should totally be an hour long, it's just one of those shows. And by the way, while season 5 was really good, but had totally let us down...the finale was amazing.

-And finally, I hate 24, the show. Not because of the show itself (I hear good things), but because the other day, I had a really great food for thought for this column. So, I usually text them to myself or my friend Jill to remember (pad and paper? no). However, my phone was in my room charging. Of course at that same time, my roommate was watching the premier of 24 with the sex lock on because he couldn’t be interrupted. In the end, I forever forgot that thought, and instead gave you this little tidbit. Fuck you, Jack Bauer.