Finals Week -- Sungoations 5

In a desperate attempt at a distraction, I bring to you the latest installment of what's going on in my head, and the world's quirks that irk my world.

-One of the good old Dane Cook jokes involved finding the "Karen the douchebag" among your friends. I was recently thinking about that, and how if you don't know who it is, it's probably you. Thank God, I just realized who it was among my friends.

-Is it just me, or has anyone else not made the correlation between a quarterback, halfback, and fullback. Ok, so maybe I am the only one who didn't realize until now that they all ended with back. But, look more closely, while the quarterback is generally a quarter of the way back, the halfback stands the full way back, the fullback stands halfway back. Get your shit together football.

-Is it so sad in our society of a constant lack of face to face communication, that a screwed up emoticon can actually affect us. I got winky frowny face the other day - ;( - (how do you parenthesize emoticons) and was clueless on what that meant. When I asked about it, they just signed off.

-Speaking of which, I was so excited that I came up with a new emoticon that would make me millions (yeah, millions). The raised eyebrows (-:3. Then I found out it already exists in the cooler form (-B. I just can't get a win.

-Why do toilet seats in a house bathroom have closed ovals, but in public restrooms, there is a gap in the front?

-Everyone loves Judd Apatow movies, let's face it, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Superbad, they're all brilliant. But I think I finally figured out the formula for their movies' success. Ever notice how all of those same guys are in the movies, but none of them are successful comedians. Instead of using their one liners in a routine, they tie them in to now quotable movies with an almost formulated plot-line of friends breaking up, [insert middle of movie], then getting back together at the end.

-It's so awkward when walking up a narrow path and realizing that you are about to encounter an awkward situation where there won't be enough room to walk by comfortably. You both know it, see it coming...it's so awkward, that the realizing of the occurrence is more awkward than the actual inevitable awkward moment itself.

-I'll leave you to end on this note, reverting back to how I thought as a child. It confused the 8 year old shit out of me that when you breathe in, you look skinnier, but when you blow out all the air, your gut gets bigger.